


a man of distinction

by sybarite1



Series: We Never Put The FUN In Dysfunctional (Until Now) [4]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Codependency, Dialogue, Fluff, Gen, Happy Ending, Humor, Post They Save The World
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-20
Updated: 2019-03-20
Packaged: 2019-11-26 11:25:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18179984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sybarite1/pseuds/sybarite1
Summary: “Can’t brothers just spend time together?”





	a man of distinction

“Ben?”

“Mmm.”

“You know you’re not a ghost anymore, you don’t have to keep hanging around with me, right?”

“Thanks for your concern, Klaus, but this? Is my room. And you? Came in here looking for me.”

“Can’t brothers just spend time together?”

“Are you high?”

“No.”

“Am I dead?”

“No but-”

“World ending?”

“What are the odds of that?”

“Then stop interrupting me.”

Ben turns back to his tv, where he’s watching a documentary about Ancient Aliens. This History Channel seems dubious. Klaus manages two full minutes before he calls it racist and demands Ben’s attention again. Ben gives it to him, only to regret it when it lands him on a shopping trip.

 

* * *

 

 

When they get back to the house, Ben makes it no further than the entrance hall before sloughing off the numerous shopping bags Klaus has foisted upon him.

“Look, I’m sorry the mall gave you a headache.”

“Malls, Klaus, there were multiple malls.”

“Didn’t figure you for a chain store guy.”

It’s Five, hand on the bannister, speaking from a few stairs above them. For all that he’s as tall as Klaus now, it’s amazing how aging up 17 or so years has barely changed him. He’s still slicked back hair, impeccable suits, poor manners, coffee addiction. And his facial expressions are _still_ too old for his face.  Right now he’s quirked an enquiring eyebrow at Klaus, who rushes to explain.

“Not for signature items but we came out here with nothing. I needed shampoo and bubble bath and batteries for my Walkman.

“And sneakers, makeup, 4 animal onesies, costume jewelry from a store for preteen girls and a lot of Hot Topic t-shirts,” adds Ben.

“I’m Team Jacob,” shrugs Klaus.

“It get to you?” Asks Five.

“Senses are severely muted when you’re dead,” says Ben by way of explanation. Five nods.

“You should lie down in the dark,” he steps down the last few stairs and turns to go, “If you want company next time, Klaus, come find me.”

“Oh wait,” says Ben, “take this.” He opens his wallet and hands Five Klaus’s credit card. Five accepts it between two slim fingers and tucks it into his breast pocket. He nods and heads down the hall.

“That was weird,” says Klaus, “did it feel weird to you?”

“What exactly is your baseline for weird?” Ben is genuinely curious.

Klaus shrugs and begins picking up the bags Ben dropped.

“I feel like you handed me over.”

“Five did offer.”

“I know,” says Klaus, “l’m not complaining, it was nice. Weird but nice.”

“Well, ok then,” says Ben, for lack of anything else to say, “I’m going to lie down in the dark.”

“Go on,” says Klaus, now comically laden with shopping parcels, “I’ll bring you that tea you like in a bit.”

Ben hums in assent and climbs the stairs. He wonders if Klaus really will ask Five. Probably. The list of things Klaus won’t ask is inadvisably small in Ben’s experience. Idly, he hopes the two of them don’t cause some kind of incident. Klaus and Five are an unpredictable combination.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> In this arc:  
> \- Ben is alive  
> \- Klaus is sober  
> \- Five is aged up  
> \- Allison can speak  
> \- Vanya can control her powers  
> \- Luther is 100% human again and  
> \- Diego still stutters because you’ll pry that from my cold, dead hands.
> 
> Also, while this is tagged gen, it’s also tagged for codependency. These guys aren’t necessarily having healthy and well-adjusted relationships with each other, even if they are enjoying them. They’re not great at boundaries, for starters, and they come back clingy af. Also, while I anticipate adding more gen pieces, I may also add pieces that flirt with shipping or that have pairings outright, because, like I said, they’re not great with boundaries and they’re clingy af. They will be tagged accordingly so you can avoid them if preferred. My last caveat is that this is horribly self-indulgent. I just wanted to write them kinda happy and together and I’m well aware that I’m posting three glasses of wine in. Apologies in advance.


End file.
